My Heart, My Sun
by Ambuu
Summary: continues from right after Jacob kisses Bella and goes off to fight in Eclipse. i was really mad that Bella didn't choose Jacob, so this is my version. i know that the first chapter is a lot like the book, but starting with the chapter 2 it changes.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

He runs away, his shape blurring; every step taken shaking me, even though they are silent. Even now with him gone I feel his kiss, his light, radiating through every part of me. As I feel him retreating, to go to fight, I feel my heart rip, and sink down to somewhere unknown in my body, some kind of black hole.

_Why? _Jacob kissed me, and when his barriers dropped, I dropped mine. _Why didn't't I stop him? _Because I know now. I know. I love Jacob. Too. I love Jacob too. _Why is it so hard? _A tear slides down my cheek. _Edward. _My heart threatens to continue its ripping process. _How could I betray him like that? How __**can **__I betray him like that? _Because I'm still betraying him. Every time I think about Jake I'm betraying him. _I have to choose. But that's not a hard choice is it? Isn't't it? Of course my choice is Edward. Isn't it?_

My heart battles itself. Edward, Jake. Jake, Edward. My heart, my Sun. My Sun, my heart. It's not even that simple. Because Jacob's part of my heart too now, always has been.

A hand appears on my shoulder, hard and cold. _Extremely _cold thanks to this snow storm, even with my space heater. My teeth start to chatter, and the hand disappears quickly. _He's _here, and as usual, my heart starts hyperventilating. I'm not breathing right, and my tears make the process even harder. He smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Bella?" he inquires, and that makes it worse.

I'm hurting him. I'm hurting him, and he's comforting _me_.

"Don't you know?" I manage.

"Know what? That Jacob Black manipulated you into kissing him?"

I stifle a gasp._Manipulate _is a harsh word.

"Yes, he manipulated you. He wasn't going to go down in a fight."

The knowledge doesn't even faze me. I can't hate Jacob.

He sighs, beautifully, "And I can't even remove his jaw."

"Don't," I start, but I can't finish.

"You're thinking aren't you?" he asks, his face smooth, his eyes sad.

I'd love to say no, to assure him that I love him, that I'm his. But I'm just not sure any more.

He takes my silence in and looks at the floor, waiting for the fight to begin. All the while my hearts being torn apart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! They helped me a lot! D**

Chapter 2

My body shivers, trying to hold back the sobs. _Not in front of Edward. _He's seen me cry before, but this just wouldn't be fair to him. My brain feels hard, like it's cemented in my skull. I manage to turn my neck towards him, trying to mask over my face into something hopeful.

For a split second he's still staring at the floor, and I can't read his expression, but he's slumped over, all defenses gone. As I try to get a look at his face, his body stiffens, his head shooting up towards the woods, towards the fight. His nostrils flare. The fight has begun.

My mind wipes clean, and fear takes hold of every cell in my body. _Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esmé, Emmett. Rosalie too. And Jacob. _I gulp._Jacob and the pack. They're only looking for fun, every one of them. To protect me. _I grip Edward's shoulder, not even noticing how cold my body gets. He doesn't look at me.

"What's happening?" my voice comes out a squeak.

He's staring at something, something I can't see.

"I need to go," he says calmly.

"But you promised!" I manage.

"Bella, it is…imperative that I do down there," his voice is strained.

"Why? What's happening?" I'm trying to breathe right.

"Nothing that I can't handle. I'll be right back," he says, strain gone.

He gets up, smooth, taking my hand off his shoulder, and moves towards the tent flap.

"Edward! Don't leave me!...Again….," my eyes drift over to the floor, but I'm looking at him under my eyelashes.

His face contorts in pain. I'm not playing fair. But I need him _here_.

He takes a step forward, and his face clears. Quick as a panther, he turns around and leaves.

My insides clutch to my sides, dropping fast. My body gives, landing face-first on the floor. _No_. Rivers splash down my cheeks. _Everybody's gone. _Faintly I hear a yelping sound. _Seth_! I scramble up, running, tripping outside. Here sits my link to the fight.

"Seth! What's going on!?" my eyes must look frantic.

He stares at me, not yielding anything.

"Seth!"

His eyes droop, and he runs into the woods.

I plop myself down on the floor. _He could have left me, or he could be changing…I hope he's changing._ I feel heat towards my back, and I stand up, my eyes dry.

"Seth, what's going on?"

He just shakes his head.

"What good was changing if your aren't going to talk to me?"

"It's…" his eyes won't meet mine.  
"What…happened…?" I'm starting to hyperventilate.

_Who was it?_

"It's Sam, one of the bloodsuckers got him," he says slowly.

"_Who _got Sam?"_Oh no. _

_But who did it? Was it one of the Cullens? Or the newborns?_

"He isn't _dead_. He's just really hurt. One of the newborns got him from behind," he seems more confident now, realizing that Sam _could_ have died.

_Thank God._

"We're going there. Now," I put one foot in front of the other, my head high, leading the way.

_What are we going to find there?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks Everybody! D More reviews would be nice though. **

**I'm sorry. This one's a little longer. D**

**Anyway, here it starts to get a little different than the book.**

Chapter 3

Aches tingle my calves, my thighs even. Hiking around in this forest for half an hour isn't that much fun. My determination bleeds out of me in the first twenty minutes. _Funny word, bleed. The smallest thing. A paper cut, a scrape. But among vampires it's a big deal. A single paper cut…_I shudder, remembering my last birthday, rubbing my thumb against my scar. A memory pops into my head. Edward, he couldn't stay with me when Carlisle was stitching me up. _But he wanted to_. Another memory slides into my mind, before the whole werewolf business, when things were a lot simpler between me and Jake. I'd fallen off the motorcycle, and I'd said sorry. Jake wanted to know why I was apologizing. _I guess he knows why now._

Looking around desperately again, I realize we're lost.

"Seth, where are we?" I sound like a helpless child.

"I dunno…," he's not here, in mind anyway.

"Seth, you're a _werewolf_. Don't you know where we are?" I ask, trying to get him out of his trance.

His face pulls back, and looks around us.

"Oh…where are we?"

"Yeah, that's the question isn't it," I reply sarcastically.

He hasn't been much help.

"What are you thinking about anyway?" I ask, nosy.

"Sam," he says.

"He'll be fine," I say, calmly.

"Yeah, but that's not really it…"his ears perk up, "We're really close now. They're through these bushes. C'mon."

He pushes some leaves away, and some branches. They're really no problem for him, even though he's only fourteen. I take a deep breath and step through, hoping that what we see isn't a bad sight.

For a moment, I think we stepped into Hell. Dark red, sticky liquid coating the ground. Heat, amazing heat encases my body, almost suffocating me. Dark purple fumes are willowing in the air, trapping us. Then I realize bodies are in the fire. White marble chunks. _Vampires. But which side? _

A huge face creeps up to me, though definitely not human, more like an overgrown dog. _Embry_. His eyes are sad.

"Embry, what happened? Where's Sam?" _Where's everyone?_

He looks straight at me, sad eyes never rounding. Usually the inability to talk helps me, but lately it's been a really annoying factor in this werewolf business.

"Come on," I say, exasperated.

He strides over to the bushes, and quickly emerges; only wearing pants.

"Hey," he says softly.

Long pause.  
"We won," he says sheepishly.

A weight flies off of me. _But where is everybody?_

"That's great," I force a smile.

"Sam's doing ok, he's healing right now. Carlisle's helping him. That bloodsucker might not be half bad," he says, still not hint of happiness.

_Thank God, the Cullens are ok._

"Where are they?"

His eyes flash away, responds slowly, "At Jake's."

"Let's go then. What have you been waiting for?" I need to see that everyone's good.

He still hasn't looked at me. He just leads the way to La Push.

This hike doesn't take too long, and I don't really pay attention to our surroundings. I just want to see everybody. Embry's a little faster than Seth, but just as preoccupied. _What's up with the wolves?_ We get there in about ten minutes, but when we do, he hesitates. He still hasn't looked at me. _What's going on? _Air fills his lungs and makes him look even bigger as he takes a deep breath, and swings open the door.

Huge, warm arms envelope me and I can't breathe.

"Jake, can't breathe," I manage.

The arms loosen their grip.

"Are you ok?" he _does_ look me in the eye.

"Sure Jake, question is, are you?"

He sighs, "Course I'm ok Bells."

"How's Sam?"

"Ok, but why aren't you freaking out?"

"Why would I be freaking out?" panic flutters in my chest.

"Don't you know what happened?" he glances over at Seth, Embry.

They're staring at the floor.

"No. Jake, what happened?" I know he'll tell me.

A lump grows in his throat, glances at the floor, looks at me.

"The blood…Edward's gone," he says slowly.

"Gone?" my heart skips a beat.

"Tanya's family took him," he says, in a hushed voice.

"_Took _him?" my voice squeaks.

"Well, he went half willingly, half not. Idiot," he mumbles.

"_Willingly?_" _Stupid strawberry blonde vampire._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews everybody D**

**They convince me to write more.**

**Yes, to those of you who didn't figure it out yet, this is a Jacob and Bella fanfic.**

**I know that Edward wouldn't do some of the things I'm making him do, but it is still his personality and I need him to do something wrong to make Bella choose Jacob instead.**

Chapter 4

"He's such an idiot for leaving," Jake growls.

"What do you mean he went _willingly_?" my heart's beating three times as fast as usual.

Watching my face he says, "One of the female vampires came up to him, said he had to go with them. He said he'd rather not. He needs to stay here. Then they started speaking really fast. I didn't understand most of it, but from the sound of it, he didn't really _want _to go. But no one forced him to."

_No one forced him to. But he didn't want to go. What was so important that he needed to go to the fight?_

"He was trying to help Sam. Leah had gotten into some trouble, trying to take two at a time by herself. Edward saw it, and came. Then those other bloodsuckers came," he continues.

"Sam would have died if Edward hadn't come," he admits.

_Why did Edward go with them? He wouldn't if he didn't want to. He's as stubborn as I am._

My heart threatens to burst in my chest. Jacob's here. He's always here. Edward's not here. Sometimes he's here, sometimes he's not. Jacob, Edward. Edward, Jacob. I love them both. _What am I going to do? _

"Jake, I'm so confused," I crash into his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around me, pats my hair.

Whispers, "It's ok Bella, honey."

We go sit on the couch together, and fall asleep.

I'm awake. _Ugh_. I don't open my eyes. Dreamless sleep is bliss. Nothing to worry about. Now I'm awake, and I have to face my life. I force my eyes to open.

Jake's snoring next to me. Everybody's gone. Billy must be in his room sleeping, Sam in Jake's room. _I have to choose. No, I have to see Edward. Why did he do that? Why did he leave me?_ I get up, walk over to the phone, and call Alice.

"Hey Bella. How are you doing?" her voice answers on the first ring.

"Not so good. Have you heard from Edward?" keeping it casual.

"No, I'm sorry Bella. But I've seen him. He's-he's with Tanya," she says.

"You mean he's _with _Tanya?"

"Not really. Tanya's keeping him there, says she needs him there to help them with Victoria. We didn't get her yesterday. Seems she went near their place."

"Why didn't she ask the rest of you to come?"

"I know what you're getting at. Tanya's really pushy. But Edward loves you. Just wait for him."  
"I don't think I can anymore Alice."

"Bella…it's your choice."

She hangs up.

_I'm not going to wait for Edward. But I am going to see him._ I walk back to the living room, and over to the couch. Jake's stirring. He must have heard me talking on the phone.

"Hey Bells. How are you doing?"  
"How would you feel about going to Alaska?" I ask slowly.

"With you?" he asks.

"No, with Billy."

He breaks into a grin.

"Let's go."

One advantage to being friends with supernatural beings is that you get places easily. Like Alaska for instance. Who could get to Alaska from Washington in one hour? First I drove over to the Cullens and Alice gave me money to get to Alaska by plane because even though Jake can run fast, he can't run over water. I felt bad about taking the Cullen's money, but this is Edward we're talking about.

Being on a plane with Jake is just in the slightest bit weird. He's just so big. He practically takes up two seats. Not physically, just for air space. Plus, he's so warm. It's not really a plane that we're on. It's a private jet. Alice wanted me to be safe, since she couldn't see me. So it's just me, him and the two pilots. He doesn't say anything. I guess he's happy I asked him to come. He's always up for anything I say. I love him. _But I love Edward more, right?_ I guess it's time to see.

The plane lands and we get off, the wind lashing me about like a rag doll. Jake comes to me, puts his arms around me. _How are we going to find their place?_ I stand there for a moment, helpless, looking out at the vast sea of white. _He can hear thoughts dummy! _I smack myself in the head.

"Well don't do that. We need to see your head," Jake says teasingly.

That makes me smile, but I haven't forgotten my idea.

"Jake, can you call Edward? Like, I don't know, think _Bella's here_ really hard or something.

His face shifts. _What's up with him?_

"Sure, I'll think of something," he says, a grim smile on his face.

A flash of white stirs by him, and Edward turns up on my side. I don't know why, but his appearance shakes me up even more than usual. I start hyperventilating, but quietly. I don't want Jacob and Edward to notice. I guess it's because I almost lost him. His expression registers in my brain. Livid's the word.

"What did you say Jacob?" I ask in horror.

"I didn't _say _anything" he says with a sneer.

"Well then what did you _think_?" I ask.

His face softens, then turns back.

"I just was thinking about how much of an ass he is, for leaving you. Again," he adds.

"Jacob," I scold.

A cold hand drops on my shoulder. I look up at his face. He's looking at Jake.

"Why did you bring her here?" he asks.

_He doesn't want me here? _My heart starts to flutter. My face crumples. I can tell Jake was going to make a retort, but then he sees my face.

"Look what you did," he says softly, and starts to move towards me.

Then he stops, looking at Edward, hand still on my shoulder.

"Why did you bring her here?" Edward repeats.

"I didn't bring her here. She did that herself. I just came along for the ride," Jake says.

Edward looks down at me.

"Why did you come?"

"Why did you leave?" tears threaten.

"I'm trying to catch Victoria, so you can be safe," he says.

"With _Tanya_?" I ask.

His face falls.

"Bella, I love _you_. Nothing's going on with me and Tanya." He glances at Jake, "We're _engaged _Bella."

Split moment decision. I take a deep breath. This could be the worst choice of my life. As I open my mouth, my throat threatens to choke me. My heart threatens to stop beating. _But it's only for now. Just until I get my head on straight. I'm betraying him, thinking about Jake this way while I'm engaged to him._ At least, that's what I tell myself. Maybe it's just annoyance, and jealousy.

"I…don't…think…we……should…be…engaged anymore. I mean…just for now, you know. We can get engaged again later," I manage, one word at a time.

His face crumples. I've never seen Edward cry before, but I think he's close to it. Then his face clears, and he is very still.

"It's your choice," he says, and begins to walk away.

"Edward, I…," he picks up his speed, only a blur.

I turn around and see Jake standing there, his emotion unknown. The tears start to fall.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry guys, pretty short chapter.**

**I'm actually confused myself as to how it's going to go.**

**Bella's definitely going to choose Jacob though. D**

**I'd like more reviews please. They help me out a lot.**

**Thanks to the people who have been sending me reviews. D**

Chapter 5

I'm sobbing my heart out, because Edward is my heart, and now it's gone. It's not as bad as last time, but that doesn't stop it from being the second worst experience of my life. I don't know how my heart keeps shattering. You would think I would have no heart by now. I guess it's not as bad because Jacob's here, his arms around me, and I know that this is only temporary. I just want to get my head on straight, whatever's left of my heart in order. But it's still bad. No, not bad, horrible. Irrevocable. Terrifying. Unearthly. I can't think of a bad enough word to describe this pain. But I'm still Bella, not that scary zombie. I'm still in here. Jacob's arms are my straight jacket, and I welcome them like a person who's been in the dark, and there is the light.

Jacob is silent, and I wonder what he must be feeling. Maybe a false hope. Maybe sadness. Maybe jealousy. Maybe all three. Maybe less, maybe more. All he does is hold me, and I cry into his chest.

"What are you thinking?" I gasp, trying to wipe away my tears.

"I don't think you really want to know," he says slowly.

"I do," I say, _no matter how bad it is_.

"Well I'm thinking, we just came all the way to Alaska to talk for five minutes and then leave. But that's just a small thought," he says.

_That's true._

"What are your big thoughts?" I ask.

"How about a thought for a thought?" he asks, "I tell you one of my thoughts, and you tell me one of yours."

_Uh-oh_. But it's only fair.

"Sure," I say.

"I'm thinking about what you're thinking," he says, a smile creeping up his face.

"I'm thinking about what you're thinking," a hint of one threatening mine.

"I'm thinking about…how you feel…towards me…and towards…Edward," he says.

"I'm thinking the same thing," I say truthfully.

"So you're still not sure?" he asks.  
"That's not a thought. And no, I _need_Edward. I'm just confused," I answer.

"Hmm, so what are you confused about?"

"You're getting away with this too easily. I…love…you both. I'm not sure…but I _think _the same amount. I need the both of you. But I would die without Edward."

He nods grimly, "So, you wanna chase after him? Or do you wanna go home?"

I think for a moment, then stop.

"Let's go home," I say, and I know where I'm going.

I'm going to La Push.

We go back to the jet, it hadn't left yet. Jacob holding me in his arms like a little child. I take out my cell phone and call Charlie. No, he didn't know I had gone to Alaska. He thinks I'm still at Jake's, and why would he question that if I've only been in Alaska for half an hour? And it only took an hour to get here. It's only going to take an hour to get back. Plus, Charlie likes Jacob better. He'll be happy to hear that I'm still over there, as long as nothing happened last night.

It takes a while for him to answer the phone. It's still early.

"Bella?"

"Hey dad. I'm sorry, I fell asleep on the couch at Jake's. Did you hear? Sam's hurt."

"Yeah. Billy called and told me you were there last night. He said Sam hurt himself cliff diving. I told you never to go and do that. See what could've happened to you?"

"Yeah I know."

"He's doing ok though, I heard. He heals fast that boy."

"You have no idea."

"I'll go see him later. I'm going back to sleep now."

"K. Bye dad."

"Bye."

The phone cuts off.

Jake looks over at me. We're already half way there.

"Bella, I've been thinking…maybe…you should be with Edward," he says slowly, his face contorting.

"Why?" I'm surprised.

_Jake's giving up?_

"It's just…what if he's right? What if…I do imprint on someone? I don't want to put you in that position," he says.

"Oh," that is true.

I don't think I could take it if Jacob imprinted on somebody, and Edward wouldn't leave me again. _But then what's happening now?_


	6. Chapter 6

**This one's for the people who want to read about Edward and Tanya. ;D**

**This is from Edward's point of view. (It's wasn't easy, not at all. That's why it's so short.)  
And hopefully this will explain a little more about what Edward's doing.**

**Even though you're still going to be a little confused. Tehe.**

**Kind of like a side story in the middle of a side story.**

**Thanks for all the reviews. D**

**Please help me decide what comes next.**

Chapter 6

_I can't believe she did that. Doesn't she understand what I'm doing for her? I told her I love her. Distance doesn't work does it? _I sigh, and Tanya looks over at me. She's sort of like a plain Rosalie. She doesn't have as interesting a mind. Though, her mind does go all over. It's just material things. Like Rosalie, material things. But Rosalie has a reason for thinking about material things. That's how she grew up. Tanya grew up poor. _No don't think about that. It's none of your business, going around in people's minds. _I sigh again. Such a burden. It's useful, especially for helping people out, but…

Tanya puts down her magazine, and walks over to me. Her thoughts jump out at me, encasing my brain. She sits next to me, very close.

"What's wrong?" she asks, her voice a purr.

_Maybe I should. It'd make Tanya happy. It would help Bella. If I wasn't absolutely one hundred percent sure that HE was better for her, I wouldn't be doing this. I have to try and make everybody happy. Then Bella will be happy. _My stomach turns into knots. _Maybe I can pretend it's her._

"I was just thinking…," I say, not looking at her.

"Mmmm?" she's trying to catch my gaze.

I harden, getting ready to lie through my teeth, and a very bad lie at that.

I pull her face close to mine, inhale deeply, try to picture Bella in my mind. My stomach's in knots. _How can I live like this? _

My lips touch hers, and all her thoughts scream at me. _This isn't right. _

My head is exploding; a nuclear war is going on in my skull. I break away.

She smiles sweetly at me, a little disappointed. She tries to gather her thoughts. It's kind of funny when people try to do that, so that I can hear exactly what they want me to hear. Only the rest of my family can do it right. But I get it right away. She's been thinking about it the whole time.

I sigh. _I shouldn't be doing this. _

We walk up the mahogany stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so excited for you guys to read this chapter!**

**I had a lot of fun writing it!**

**This is my favorite one so far!**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Thanks for the people who have been reviewing me. D**

**Sorry this is just a little confusing. I wanted to write about how Jacob was feeling. You'll see what I mean about that. D No spoilers! D**

Chapter 7

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

My mind is tumbling, an avalanche of thoughts. Bad thoughts. Thoughts about not wanting Edward; wanting Jacob instead. My heart is beating wildly, like my life is on the line. It probably is. I'm already lucky beyond belief that I didn't die from a heart attack. _Maybe this will set it off._ Questions burn in my head, a savage fire that is taking control. _Why the sudden change? Well, ok it's not so sudden. But why? Have I gotten over him? No. I'll never get over Edward. I was so sure. I was so sure I wanted him. I was so sure I loved him. I do. I still do. But I don't know. What changed? I love Jacob more. Before it was just that I loved Edward, and I loved Jacob too. Now the roles are switched. I'm such a bad person. _Rivers cascade down my cheeks. I'm hurting both of them, so badly. Edward's out there, trying to save my life, the lives of the people of Forks. I'm here thinking about betraying him. _But I went to Alaska for him. I went so far from home, and I didn't even stay there to enjoy it! And then he didn't even want me to stay there! _Of course, that's not the reason for the change. I don't know the reason for it. The only explanation I have is that I got over him. _That definitely didn't happen. The next time that I see him, I'm probably going to die. But I think I'm sure. I think I'm sure that I want to be with Jacob, not Edward. Jacob's more my level. I don't pull him back as much, and he's as crazy about me as I am about him. Edward's different. He's centuries old. He says his life was nothimg before me, and maybe it was, but he's just so different from me, so alien. It's finally hitting me in the face. Edward's a __**vampire**__. Yea, I know, what girl wouldn't want to be with a vampire? I'm friends with vampires. And Jacob's no better, he's a werewolf. He turns into a __**dog**__. I don't know why, I just know that I want Jacob. Jacob, not Edawrd. My Heart, __**and**__ My Sun. But I was sure about Edward too. I just __**don't **__know. All I know is that I want Jacob. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. _He seems to be a part of me now. Like when Edward left, it was like a part of me was gone. No, a part of me _was_ gone. Now Jacob is that part. I'm so evil. I deserve to die. Right here, right now. But I know, I'm going to do it anyway. Because, my lame excuse that Edward gave me, I am human.

We're at Jake's. _Jake's._ _Jake. Jacob. Jacob Black. _The name sends tingles in my stomach. _Jacob would never leave me. We can deal wtih that imprinting thing. We'll beat it into the dust. _Charlie just left, and he's fine with me staying here. He knows I'm worried about Sam. And I am, so much. It's just that Jacob's here, and he's my whole universe. Plus, I know that Sam's going to be fine, he's a werewolf. I made up my mind. I'm going to do it. I'm going to feel horrible about it. My world's going to shatter apart. But Jacob's going to help me. Jake's in the room with Sam, talking about werewolf stuff. Billy's at Harry's. Charlie's going to be there soon. Emily's making sure Quil's ok. He had sort of an emotional break down when Sam got hurt. We're alone. Just me, Jake, and Sam. The noises inside Jake's room go away. They've stopped talking. I guess it's ok for me to go in now.

My heart thumps in my chest. _I'm going to check up on Sam first. _My steps thump in my ears to the door. Just ten steps, but they seem like eternity. Finally, I come to the door, take a deep breath, and open the door. Sam seems pretty bad. He has slings all over him, because he heals so quickly. But it's not like he's going to die. I smile at him timidly.

"Hey Sam," I say softly.

"Hey Bella, how're you?" he asks, pulling a grin.

"How am I? How are you Sam? Look at you," I say, exasperated.

He pretends to look at himself, his eyes widening.

"Well, how did that happen?" he asks, mockingly scared.

I laugh, hanging by the door.

Jacob's been watching me the whole time.

"So, what've you been doing Bella?" he asks huskily.

"Nothing really, worrying about Sam mostly."

He looks at me, his eyes skeptical. I must look like I've been crying.

_Damn, I forgot to check._

He gets up, starting to take up the whole room. Of course, he isn't wearing a shirt,

I wonder if he can feel my heart racing, like vampires can.

Before he leaves, he gives me a look.

"I'll let you get some sleep."  
Sam nods.

He's standing there, in front of the couch, his arms crossed.

"Bella?" he asks, his face masked.

My heart threatens to shatter.

"Don't look at me like that, please. I hate it when you look at me like that," I say, almost crying.

His face breaks, but he still stands completely still.

"Bella, I'm telling you. You should be wtih Edward. I thought you said you'd chosen him anyway," he says.

"Jake, no," I say, walking over to him, "I want to be with _you_. I want _you_. I love _you_."

He shakes his head rapidly, pulling his arms closer to him, restraining himself.

I stare dead at his eyes, keep on walking.

My arms go around his neck, and my lips find his.

He's shaking. Not the werewolf kind though.

Finally he lets go, putting his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, kissing me back.

My hands grasp his hair, and we're kissing even deeper than the last time.

Again I'm moving in ways that I've never moved before, and we're one person.

His light shines through my entire body, catching every crevice.

Grasping me, and changing it to him.

Gathering every Edward particle, and turning it into a Jacob.

Finally we have to break for air, but he doesn't let go.

He kisses me again, full of sweetness, and draws back.

I look into his eyes, no longer full of resistance. Just a faint hint of worry, and love.

We stand there, finally at peace.

JACOB'S POINT OF VIEW

_Oh my God, I've imprinted on her! This is the best thing that could have happened! Now, we can be together. She doesn't have to go be wtih that __**leech**__. I guess he wasn't so bad though. _I feel like I've been walking on water. Now, the ground is solid. But not just solid, it's soft and firm, and full of love. The ground seems to be drawn to her. The Earth, the Sun, everything living. A constant vibe that flows put of her. A song, that creates the rules and the beings of everything and everyone. _So this is what it feels like._


	8. Chapters 7 14, 7 12, and 7 34

**Wowzah. So, pretty cool last chapter. **_**I **_**think.**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**Keep them coming please! D**

**Sorry this chapter's so wierd and so so short.**

**I just want to bring everything together for the next chapter.**

Chapter 7 1/4

EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW

Alaska isn't all cold and dreary. It's funny how some humans think that it is. It has wonderfull waterfalls, just like this one. _Well, it would be wonderfull, if Victoria hadn't contaminated it with her very presence_. A sigh escapes me. _I'm not very good at tracking. _A fog enters my mind._ I shouldn't have done that with Tanya. It was wrong. I love Bella. I should go to her now, and catch up with Victoria later. _My lips pull back, forming a snarl. I can't just let Victoria get away. I close my eyes, trying to get Victoria's flow of mind. Thoughts swim behind my eyes, and I try to figure out where she is. _On her way to Forks._ My eyes scream bloody murder. I run to Emette's truck, leaving _now_.

Chapter 7 1/2

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

My lips pull upward, exposing my teeth. My stomach's floating. _I'm_ floating. Jacob just said he's _imprinted _on me. Before, I didn't want that to happen, because I thought that I wanted to be wtih Edward forever. Now, I just can't believe it. My world seems to be in place. I don't know how, but Jacob does it. Edward's with Tanya now. He can go be with her. I'm with Jake. _Oh Jake. _My heart seems to wilt and be pumped back alive at the same time, just from his name. We just stand here, in the middle of his living room, looking into each other's eyes. Not moving.

Then he lifts his ears, his nose crinkling, his face breaking down.

Chapter 7 3/4

JACOB's POINT OF VIEW

I can't believe I just told her I imprinted on her. Still, my mouth curves into a smile. My stomach's flying._ I'm _flying. My breathing comes out like I'm in desperate need of air, and I am. But somehow, Bella is that air. We just stand here, in the middle of my living room, looking into each other's eyes. Not moving.

Then I hear a sound from far away, Embry, running fast, panting. A sharp sweet scent reaches my nose, and it crinkles. _Victoria's here. _Not far off, I sense the prescence of that blood sucker.


	9. Chapter 8

**OH. MY. GOD.  
I am so sorry. I didn't plan that.  
I SO didn't plan that.  
But somehow, I think it was supposed to happen.**

**I just have to say, I'm so very sorry.**

**Please review. Thanks D**

Chapter 8

Jake reaches out and grabs my shoulders, a dark look on his face, mixed in with emotions that are trying to gain dominance.

"Victoria's here. Embry's on her trail," he says, his voice strained.

My heart starts thumping madly, this time out of fear.

He looks away for a second.  
Then adds, "Edward's on his way."  
My heart starts stuttering, flickering. _Oh no_. I look up at Jake, trying to reassure him. All he must see is fear.

He shakes his head.

"I got to go," he says.

"Jake-wait. Please," I call as he was on his way to his room, to report to Sam.

He turns slightly towards me.

"Jake…please…make sure you come back," I gulp, "And Edward too."

My eyes find the floor. It takes him a while to answer.

"Sure," he says gruffly, and then walks to Sam.

I slump onto the couch, listening to the muffled voices, trying to slow down my pulse. Too soon, Jacob walks out of the room, looks at me quickly. I sit up.

"Jake-"I start.  
He runs, fast, bursting as he gets out the door.

I slide back down, tears starting to swim down my cheeks. _I hope they're all ok. _I get up slowly, wiping my face. I open the door, wondering what kind of state Sam is in. He's lying there, face towards the ceiling, breathing heavily. His mind must be pretty far out not to hear me coming. I knock, hanging by the open door. His face turns towards mine. My face falls.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Yeah. I just- I just wish that I could at least _know _what's going on," he opens up.

"Can you change?"

"Are you kidding me? If I could change, I'd be out there chasing Victoria, no matter what condition I'm in," he pipes up.

"Well, I guess we can wait here together," I say, and sit on the non-existent space left on the bed next to him. Silence fills the room.

Five hours later, we still haven't moved. However, Sam hears footsteps in the distance, but his face is grim. He glances at me, and then looks away. I run out of the room, to the front door. I wrench it open, my head throbbing in my ears. Quil runs up to me, his eyes frenzied.

"Bella," he gasps.

"What? What happened?" I ask; my heart in my chest.

"Jacob – he's really hurt," he chokes out.

My heart threatens to fly out of my chest. I start hyperventilating.

"And Edward…he's...dead."  
That's it. I fall on the floor. Blackness swallows me whole.


	10. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews. D**

**Four to Five more chapters left.**

**I hope you're enjoying the fanfic.   
This is my first one ever. D**

**Keep reviewing. D**

Chapter 9

Warmness envelops me. The heat brings red behind my eyelids, and they flutter. Sam is holding my hand, slings gone. His eyes are sad, but he smiles at me.

"Time to get up," he says softly.

I shoot up, my head throbbing madly.

"What happened?"

He seems to have practiced what he was going to say before he woke me up.

"Edward was in trouble. Jacob went after him. I don't know why, to protect him? They started fighting with Victoria but Edward was already wounded. He caught up with Victoria so much faster than we did. I don't know, Jacob had gone speeding ahead to save him, 'cause he sensed that something was wrong. It took us a while to catch up. By the time we got there, things were really messy. Edward had looked up at Jake and said, 'Take care of her. I was never right for her. I know that now,' and he jumped in front of Victoria. Jacob had this mad look in his eye, and he jumped in the way, but he was too late. He got seriously injured, and Edward...Edward couldn't be saved. Jake was like a madman after. He ripped Victoria to shreds, all by himself, even in his condition. Then he blacked out. It might take a while for him to recover."

I try to digest this all in. My first love, taken away from me. My love, my forever love, my sweet sweet love is in danger of being taken away from me too. Tears swell up in my eyes.

"Where is he?" I ask.

Sam lets some of his guard down, and looks like an innocent puppy.

"He's in his room," his eyes land on the door.

"Wait, how are you Sam?"

He laughs hallowy, "I'm great. It seems I got better when I felt Jake getting so badly hurt. I jumped and when I got in here, you were out."

I look over at Jake's room, starting to get myself up.

"Wait, Bella. There's someone in there. Actually, a bunch of someones."

"Who?" I ask.

"Go see," he says, because he can't tell me.

I walk over to the door, trying to imagine who could be here.

When I open the door, a brightness shines like the Moon. My eyes adjusting, I realize that there are four vampires packed closely together. A pang reaches in my heart. Oh how I miss them. I havnen't seen them in so long. But to see them like this...

Alice looks over at me, walks over to me, graceful as ever. She looks into my eyes, her own onyx. She gives me that glare. That glare I had never imagined could be trained on me, the glare of a predator. A glare of loathing. I gasp. Then her face softens, her whole chirade. She comes to me, and falls into me. She starts crying.  
"I think I punished you enough, huh?" she asks, her voice like bells.

"I'd say so," I say.

"Do you miss him?" she asks, looking into my eyes.

"Of course," I say, oceans pouring out of me, "Of course I miss him."

She nods, "That's the way he would have wanted it. That's the way he does want it. He wants you to be with Jake, and you are. But he wanted you to remember him too, to miss him."

I drop my head, sobbing. I look back up, and Jasper's there, close to me. Jasper never gets this close. He gives me...a..._hug_. Jasper's giving me a hug, and when he lets go, I see a single tear slide down his face. Alice is still on me. Esme comes next, wrapping her long arms around me, kissing my lips full.

"You are still my daughter," she says, crying.

I look over at Carlisle, who's over Jacob. He gets up, and strides over to me. He gives me a hug too, grabbing my head. He's crying too.

"You must come over, all of the time," he says.

"I can?" I ask.  
"Of course. Maybe we can renew the treaty. The feud runs deep, but maybe, just maybe, we can compromise something." He strides back over to Jacob.

I look down at Alice, and she smiles through her tears at me.  
"Yes, we must still have our fun. Maybe Rose can too. Please say you'll come at _least _three times a week Bella," she pines.

"I'll try," I say, giving a weak smile.

Finally, I stride over to Jacob, and he doesn't seem so bad. Bad, yes, but he won't die. I take hope in that. I put my hand on his and kiss his eyelids. Color runs through his body. His eyes flutter. My heart does the same.

"Jake?" I call.

"Uhh," he groans, "Bell-aaahhhh."

My tears start flowing anew, this time happily.

I look at the Cullens, and they smile at me.

A tiny hand appears on my shoulder. I turn around, and Rosalie and Emmette are behind me. They're both crying too.  
"I'm sorry Bella," Rosalie says, opening her arms shyly. I crash into her, forgiving her instantly. I think we'll be friends now.  
Next I hug Emmette, and I wonder how I'm hugging everybody today. He gives me a bone crunching hug, and then puts me back on the ground, ruffling my hair. Carlisle puts his medical equipment away, and turns to leave.  
"We'll see you real soon Bella," he says.

They all leave, giving me warm smiles.

Alice is the last, and she pecks me on the cheek before dancing away.

I sit at Jacob's side, and everytime I touch him his eyes flutter. Maybe I can nurse him back to health. I smile. Maybe everything will be ok. I think about Edward. I'll miss him so much. But with what Alice said, it makes me feel a lot better. Edward will always be a part of me. He'll live on in me.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Air stings my throat and fills my lungs as I take a deep breath. I've decided to tell Charlie everything. Well, not everything everything. But I'm going to tell him what's been going on. I don't know how he'll take it. Maybe he'll send me to a psychiatric ward. But, I have Alice and Sam. They're going to come in and prove that what I'm saying is true. Shaking, I walk up to the front door of my home, feeling as though it'll eat me. I put my key in, and turn the knob. Charlie's on the couch watching baseball.

"Hey Dad," I call softly, gulping.

"Yeah Bells? How's Sam?" he asks.

"Sam's good," I say, "But Edward's not. Neither is Jacob," I say.

"Oh?" he says.

"I need to talk to you," I say, and something in my tone gets him to turn the TV off and bid me sit down.

I look down, then back up at him again.

"Just listen to me okay? You can say whatever you want later, but just listen," I say.   
He nods.

I gulp. Quick moment decision. I'm not going to work him up to it, I'm just going to come out and day it.

"Fairy tales exist. Edward's a vampire. So are the rest of the Cullens. Jacob's a werewolf, and so are most of the Quilete boys. Sam is too," I sat, getting it out.

"Bella-," Charlie starts.

"No, I said listen, you can call me a psycho later. It's true. There are legends," I say, telling him every legend I've heard.

I tell him about my first day at school, his reaction to me. I tell him about how I found out he was a vampire, the trip to the beach, the conversation we had in the city. I don't leave out the part about me getting mugged. I tell him how Edward saved me from that car crash. Next I tell him all about vampires. About how the Cullens are vegetarians, about their powers, about Victoria and Laurent and James. I don't mention that Edward came to my room every night. I tell him about Edward going to the Volturi. Charlie pales, but he listens.

Next I tell him about werewolves, about how I found out Jake was a werewolf, and I told him how the legends applied. I told him about the bears being the Quiletes, and how they protect everybody from the vampires who aren't vegetarians. I tell him about the Treaty. I tell him how Jacob's imprinted on me, about how I love him, and we're together.

Finally, I decide it's time to tell him what has happened recently. I tell him about how Victoria came back for me, about how Edward left, about how I went to Alaska with Jacob, about how when we came back Victoria was here, about how Edward and Jacob were hurt very much so.

That's when Alice and Sam suddenly appear next to me. Charlie's eyes go wide.

"How?" he asks.

"I told you, they're not human," I say.

Alice smiles at him, touches his arm. I bet Charlie realizes now how cold her skin is.

"Hello Charlie," she says, "You know, I can't see your reaction, because Sam's here, but I can see later, and you'll accept this, so why don't you just start now. I'm not normal Charlie, and neither is Sam over here."

Charlie just nods.

"It's true Charlie," Sam says, "Come with me, I want to show you something."

Charlie shakes his head, but still follows Sam into the back yard. Sam explodes into a giant wolf right in front of us. Charlie's eyes go even wider. Sam goes behind a tree and comes back human again.

"Do you believe me Dad?" I ask.

"Yeah, I do," Charlie says, mesmerized.

We walk back into the house, with Alice in the lead. It's her job to break the news to Charlie. We all sit on the couches. Me and Alice are on one, Sam is on another, and Charlie's in his.

"So, Charlie, is you schedule free on Saturday?" she asks.

He nods.

"Now, Bella tells me you don't like to dress up, but will you please where a black coat and tie?"

"What for?" he asks.  
Alice takes a breath, "Edward's not really hurt. Edward's dead."  
Charlie goes the color of parchment.

"I'm so sorry," he says, "I know I was hard on him, but I didn't want him to die. I-"  
"It's ok. Just come ok?" she asks.

Charlie nods again.

"I think we'll leave," Sam says.

"I'll be at Jake's, ok? He's really hurt," I say.

He nods again.

We all leave him with what he has just learned.


	12. Chapter 11

**Sorry this is so short.  
I still like it though.**

**It was just that it was so hard to write. **

**I love you Edward! sob**

Chapter 11

Again, tears flow down my cheeks. I've accepted Edward's death. It's what he wanted. I still have him within me, and that's what matters. There is no way I could ever forget him. I love him still, even though it's not the love that would have kept us together.

The white coffin is lavishly built. The Cullens had wanted a see-through coffin, but of course Edward's body was enflamed, so it is closed. It is made out of marble. I wear my bracelet, the heart still on it. That is where it will stay. Rain patters on every surface, making the freshly dug grass mud. Brown. I had said I missed brown. Here it is. It is getting late. The Sun is starting to set.

Everyone is here. Everyone in the senior class, the Quiletes, Tanya's family, my friends, and my mom and Phil. Even Mike is here, and he is sad. The atmosphere seems to sense the loss the world has taken. Everybody feels it. It hangs in the air like a poison. The whole ceremony is silent. No words. There doesn't need to be any. Everyone is crying. Everyone. It doesn't matter if Edward was someone you didn't like or didn't go near to, his loss is felt by every molecule of the planet. Somehow, I stay together, because the Cullens, and the Quiletes, and my family, and my friends just are.

Finally, I am the only one left. The Cullens left me alone with him, and so did Jacob. That I don't deserve, because the Cullens knew Edward far longer than I did. But maybe they'll come another time. I stay here until twilight, remembering everything. My tears land on the fresh grave, and I imagine them going through the dirt and pattering onto the surface of the coffin. Here I stay, and when I leave, a big part of me is still there, withering on the surface of the grave, sobbing until I am drained and I too become one with the Earth.


	13. Chapter 12 FINAL

**FINAL CHAPTER**

**It's been fun going through this fanfic with you guys. **

**Thank you for all of your support and I hope you enjoyed it.**

Chapter 12

I get into my old truck, letting it roar into life. Charlie accepts what he has learned, and Renee knows now too. My life is no longer a secret to my parents. I haven't told my friends though. I think that'd be a little too much. Driving slowly, my heart lifts at the thought of going to the Cullens. They say they have a surprise for me, and even though I don't like surprises, I don't think any of them, cough Alice, would be treacherous enough as to do something too crazy in light of recent events. I reflect on my life as I roll down the road, missing the turn like always. I smile to myself as the memories roll through. Victoria's gone, the Volturi can always be dealt with, and I have Jacob and the Cullens. I have my parents and my friends too now. With me not becoming a vampire, I can still be with them. Sure, I still want to be able to take care of myself and be a vampire, but I don't think that would be a good plan seeing as the love of my life is a werewolf.

As I park in the driveway, Alice and Jacob, fully healed, run out to greet me. For a second everything seems the way life should be, and then I realize, Jacob is on _Cullen_ territory. Sure, the Cullens have come on werewolf territory, but that was to help them. Jake just seems like he's hanging out. As I get out of my truck, they smile widely in my face. They both take my hand, and, without a word, they take me into the house. Everything is empty at first sight, peoplewise. But once we get to the fake dining room, I see everybody. I mean everybody. The werewolves and vampires are all sitting, smiling at me, at one table. Alice and Jacob glance at me, still smiling, and sit me in between them.

"So, now that Bella's here," Carlisle starts, "Bella, we would like to announce something to you."  
I nod in his direction.  
"We have fixed the treaty," Sam says, "Our feud runs deep in out blood, but, like it or not, we like these vampires. In a way, they are part of our family too."

A grin stretches its way up my cheeks.

"We can go on each other's land now, and even be friends. Even more than friends, like family," Carlisle says.

"Together, we will keep the human race safe," Sam says.

I jump out of my seat, Alice and Rosalie and Emily do the same. We start dancing in circles and Esmé joins us. I squeal. Jacob picks me up in his arms, and kisses me, and the world is sweet.


End file.
